Nobody understands the unfair pressures of Valentine's Day on a brand new relationship like Raspberry the octopus.
Each year, the Seattle Aquarium celebrates this holiday by putting on what is essentially a sex show starring giant Pacific octopuses: It throws a male and a female together in a "blind date" in the hopes that they'll mate.
For the second year in a row, this event, like many blind dates, hasn't gone as planned. Last year, according to the Seattle Post-Intelligencer, the aquarium canceled the event out of the fear that the male, named Kong, might eat his mating partner, a solid reason to back out of a date if we've ever heard one.
This year, the show fell through for a different reason: Aquarium staff found out that the female, Raspberry, had already mated before arriving at the aquarium, so her eggs were already fertilized. Her would-be date, a male named Pancake, wouldn't have much more to offer.
Seattle Aquarium’s Curator of Fish and Invertebrates Tim Carpenter catches Raspberry the octopus as she's released into Elliott Bay on Tuesday, Feb. 14, 2017. (Photo by Grant Hindsley, SeattlePI.com)
So instead of mating for an audience, Raspberry was sent back to sea, which honestly sounds like a much better deal. Enjoy your freedom, girl.